I saw a star falling. That was all it took.

"I hate to see you racking up numbers."
-Mom

Well atleast I'm not so much heartless as reckless. I cried for days.
I can't ignore the fact that, oh i can't say it.

God Bless all of you.

"Something told me to run, and honey you know me, its all or none."

My life is beautiful to me. Emotion is not something to be ashamed of. I am not beaten.

Let the reciprocation take compensation for the weight in between, and we will move on.

For the fact that lately I've been encountering a few things that have told "me" that expression is really key, i remembered that fact and figured that writing in this blog thing (blag) might be helpful. It could be said that I'm doing this to gain recognition for my thoughts, to parade them around(above) other people. I don't really care (sorta) and this point. Some things are pretty important.

Graduation was coo. I got emotional when I saw Kate Hartney, Billy and Brandon for band things. I'll miss them dearly. I'm going to try to keep in contact with them, they feel familiar to me, which I hope doesn't change because its just a time and place thing. Jeff Conway was telling me that you have to be with people not just for convience's sake but because they are your actual friends. It kinda sticks with me, maybe just because it resounds of something I read in "the art of Happiness", cowritten by the Dali Lama.

I'm applying to Marshalls.

I stared down Joe Biden, for what ever reason. I wonder what kind of person gets that far up the ladder. I feel closer to Monkies than I do that rank of government.

Going to the beach this week should be fun, but for the fact I'm spending money that could be used for college. Oh god.

I'm not ashamed that I like self help books. The funny thing is that when I was in the pits of anxiety, when I needed them super a lot, I couldn't get up the courage to go get one. I might have blinked too much at the cash register.

I don't think we notice when it happens, the shift being so gradual. I don't think we see it coming. One day you wake up and you can't relate with yourself. One day you wake up, wanting to escape but the images just aren't there anymore. It's made in red with thickening, crumbling paint. Smearing on the that which no longer looks how it used to.

I'm almost tempted to miss a state of mind that never had any regard for me or my sanity. Gradually I'm taking steps for someone else. I never wanted to take the time to do. Is this compassion? Is this reaction?

Everything's calming for me, but around me there are people having their worst days ever. Super Nova's are nothing, compared to what happens inside. The truth can be held as a candle or a knife. Lovely wax filling in the spaces which mine arms used to grab at and find wanting.