Somehow I'm finding I'm much more of a social person than I used to be, which is funny because about a year ago I was horrified with myself to "discover" that I was an antisocial solitary person. Which I guess was to say that I was afraid of human interaction and didn't know how to handle myself. I could be wrong. I know though that I am more secure with the world as compared to previous times. Strange that I still can call myself me. Maybe the self really is an illusion.
Guilt is not a natural feeling, humans learn how to feel it and it is poison, but I guess it gets the job done. Regardless of its origins it has a strength of itself, in conflicts. I refuse to admit that humanity can only destroy itself. Which is off topic, in a manner.

I think I've met my match and I'm finding I like it.
Something tells me to be careful with my words because who knows whats going on through other peoples minds, but god, its just such a hassle to do. Totally not in my nature..... I feel...strong?

I do fall to guilt a lot though. Which is destructive because it isn't natural. Its important to acknowledge that, for me. I'm happier in knowing that and in making my own path free of it. No matter how temporary this state, I honor it.

I'm reading a book called Cunt. It has a very feminist slant, which I don't mind at all. It empowers in a healthy way, for me in this moment, but then I'm not forced to deal with much societal pressure at the moment

In my life.....
there are a lot of loose ends, but I guess thats pretty typical.
The sky is not always blue. It really isn't
Birds delight not so much in their flight as they mourn their inability to be grounded.
I do too.

My situation isn't particularly hard to bear as much as the difficult parts are hard to ignore.

I'm not sure if I know how to explain this. Errrr.
Well I was reading the Art of Happiness and it was talking about change having to be slow. And thats not normally how I approach it. So I started getting a little manic because I knew it would be better if I adapt a slower process of change, but I was trying to quickly change the way I change. And it all seemed relevant and scary and confusing.
I'm not sure if I explained that well enough to be appreciated.

Its hard to maintain communication when I'm not aware there's something that isn't mutually understood.