Bubbling.

Where did the intimacy of life go? I feel more connected to some weird world than I do to the people I hold closest. I almost hope this is temporary. I feel the distance and it bothers me. Slightly. Unable to feel how deep down it goes, or where it actually ends I let it linger for a moment then gradually the apparency of it dissapears and with it the sensation.
Day by day there has been slow progress, this is not to say problems are not definitely existent, but I'm re-me. Kinda. The old me I once knew. Who really can define a "me". I put so much importance around the word. Hell knows it, I'm self obsessed, don't know how to not be.
My fingers hurt when I focus on them. Does that mean I need a distraction? Does pulling attention away mean there was a distraction, even if its just the natural progression of things, which is what exactly again?
For the first time today I made a tiny story in my head instead of thinking in "nerve town". It helped, I didn't twitch or anything as my mind kind of wandered. Her name was Ida and she lived in a tiny house. Strangers were not her favorite. Thats as far as I got, couldn't think of anything else. Apparently I'm not as productively creative as I desire.
My dentist upon me telling him I was an AP student tried to get into the theoretics of racism and why certain books are read for classes. His vocabulary also expanded quite tremendously. Do so few words really make that much difference in how one acts to another. Guidelines are everywhere. How far do we go? Whats insulting? Likelihood to laugh at this joke? blah blah blah.
What ever I've written I don't claim to hold anymore insight than a slug would have in its despair whilst some child pours salt on it, watching while it bubbles.

My I am in a strange mood.