What odd things happen when not expected. Hmm. I contemplate who I was a month and a half ago. That self is so different, I think I am coming to terms with who I am. I've been running for such a long time. But that is lofty, to say that I even know exactly who I am. I know this moment, well enough. That is a relative sentence., Don't know if I used that in the right context. I like today. I have had four hours of sleep, seems so cruel but really its not so bad. I complain to myself a lot unnecessarily. Oh addiction. I feel as if I am addicted to the emotions which rack me and leave as they will/are permitted to.
I over estimate and under estimate control so much. I don't know if other people do as much as I do. I hope not. Well of course some people do, but you know what I mean.
My sister asked me what I was afraid of. I found an answer I haven't been letting myself admit, although it's not complicated and its not that hidden.
Myself.
I am terrified of myself. Isn't that weird? Maybe that is another over-reaction. And its not the only piece of the puzzle in the two ways I can fathom this statement could pertain to.
Now, I'm definitely not claiming I know everything or even anything, or that I have anything definitely figured out, after all these are just random floating thoughts.
What does that exactly mean anyway in context? I have not thought it over that much.
Funny.
Decide for yourself what you take from this.
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