"Fights problems with bigger problems"

He told me he thought that the medicine dulled my idealogy. But it doesn't. It sharpens my thoughts, my reasoning is so much more sound. I can push away the fuzz and bizarre ideals that didn't belong, unless then, I was meant to be driven to absolute lunacy. Then again, there and back again kind of describes my situation at the moment. And just like Frodo in the Lord of the Rings(I know its terribly corny, sthu) I return changed.
That isn't to say I still don't have my own little problems.
He didn't give me time to properly disagree. I did. My inside workings in the moment made me feel proud. The machine feels a little better oiled now, the bearer has been attending to the creation which needs constant adjustment.
My world is about change. I'm obsessed with it. That and labeling things. I don't like the negative type of judging. And sometimes I do. Do the complications within what I operate make me a liar? I never have time to tell my full story.
Back near the end of July I wanted full connection with someone but now I just want time to prosper without being hindered by others dangers.

So much drama has been going on. I feel like I should be mad but I'm just trying to figure things out. In a way I'm glad it has been happening because its forcing me to become stronger in my convictions. I feel like a terrible friend. I don't want to have to deal with worlds crashing down upon everyones feet, shards of it digging in ankles. Why can't we all just walk away from how fucked up things have become.

So why does he think the medicine dulls my ideologies? So what if it forces me away from childish condemning of the nourishment which keeps it alive? So what if I cherish the good in my life and can appreciate why things are the way they are? Yes I do dream of betterment of society, but its really not as bad as I used to think it is. Its weird being the one in the discussion who holds a better view on the situation. I've just moved on. Maybe prematurely. But I think classifying things like that is just unhealthy, sometimes maybe necessarily. But who's complaining?