derm de dim.

I want to sit down and write out lyrics so I don't have to deal with the stress of trying to create something out of me. Maybe angels and airwaves. A few minutes ago I was confused. For a second I thought Angels and Airwaves has too much of an immature voice to listen to and like, for me at this stage of my life when I don't want anything to do with the naivety that encircles a considerable amount of my moods. But then I thought maybe that the whiny voice I was hearing actually wasn't that immature, maybe its just, well smart enough to not be completely aged. Or maybe I'm thinking a lot about the concepts and don't grasp them at all. Anyway, the thought made me appreciate the music more, even if I can't really recount the actual thought, as what I just wrote wasn't exactly my thought process, just a flimsier copy of it, strengthened by being put down in word I can read again, less accurate because my depictions of my thoughts are not actually my bare thoughts. I feel like my silver stranded, cloudy liquid funnel thought process is not the norm. So maybe you don't understand what I mean, I'll never tell.
Never is a strong, passionate word people say too often without honor or fear. Fear of being wrong, its slightly irrational. I'm slightly irrational, as is most of what I do, but in a world like this it seems that irrationality is the only logical thing to do. From where I sit, with what I've been given, with my definition of irrationality and logic. Which is not your defintion, which is why I have such a hard time understanding everything, because I'm only want person and I'm idealistic and self indulgent and masochistic.
I still sometimes fall apart, visually, in front of people. They mostly don't know whats going on with me, not that I know whats going on with me. Again and again its a loop I'm seething in.
My dog has anxiety issues with new people, I worry that I've rubbed off on her. My reasoning goes between being understandable to any one who could peer into my thoughts and sometimes touched outlandish. Sometimes I just feel you never can be sure, but being so open does lead to psychosis, according to a personality theory, which seems highly accurate.
I wish I had something thoughtful to leave you with. oh vwell.