I don't really feel like this. I don't think (How can you?)

How can you?

Dawn. Have I missed my train out of here? The scars over my eyes do not allow me to find time, images are severed from actuality.
Pessimism. I believe what will bring me the worst, I am weak from wanting to be strong. My ears are strained, my mind collapsing. Magnifying glasses destroy everything. Barren walls, white stains, oblivion. Black holes. A monster from the sea arises from the depth and swallows everything. Where are the flowers?
Words flow out but they mean nothing. Abundance of top quality ends that don't justify the means. The emptiness behind the shell. Seeing a life actually shred to pieces, destroy the evidence. Nobody's allowed in, no one can save a life. There's nothing to be saved. And we are stuck. And nothing ever moves like it should. The valley's always deeper, arms are never strong enough to pull out. Dark eyes bite off ankles and thighs and back and asses and necks. Sensuous beautiful necks. Breathing is never enough. Never say never. Never believe what they tell you, it's meant to build you up but all thats blown up is a deflating ego that eclipses eventually the milky moon with dark blue. And grey, scarred. And we learn to be ashamed of who we are and what we aren't because lies have set expectations too high. They were never supposed to be seen through. The shade is trasnparent, lies comes through but its Blinding. Only because I don't want to feel it.
Sorry for being depressing. I don't know. How can you?