nevermind me

Not much progress going on.
I had beautiful thoughts last night, abstract and uninterpretable, but they slipped away as I came back to a concrete world that remained unable to accept such things.

The world is cold and hard and unbiased. The people in it are not.
We are an abomination, we defy everything we come from.
Pollute it, discard it.
We destroy ourselves.
And yet among the ugly there is hope, humans have such strength among us: at times twisted and ill-placed, but remarkable nonetheless. Perhaps it is only because I am among the ranks of our race that I see the beauty, I'm not sure it matters.

Maybe the world is biased, I can not tell. Thats not saying much though, I'm nowhere near as intelligent as I could be, I have let that fade away too. I misused it and it has abandoned me. I can not condemn it for that, I just have a hard time accepting it.
There are multiple types of intelligence, so maybe it has just taken a new spin on what once was. I'm not sure. Of anything anymore.

I wouldn't take all I say literally, often times I type without thinking through anything, these are just stray thoughts looking for a home.
Maybe I am doing them an injustice by writing them down, but they help me.

another hard thing to admit. I need help sometimes. I used to be so fervently adamant about the need for individuality, I know realize its important in a certain amount, but have come to interpret life as unable to support complete individuality; that is, life as I have come to live it.

Nothings for sure anymore, I'm not so bothered.