Just as a note, I seem to write more in the beginning of the month than I do in the middle or near the end. For this month I don't think it was a "oh crap look what I'm neglecting' in reflection of the past month but a, wow I need to express before I bubble over.
Everything was new in the beginning of April/end of March. Spring Break was so different from my normal procedure, which I think is especially healthy for the likes of me.
Seeing Chloe was very nice today, we talked a lot about having grown up more than where we were going, which was very nice. It kind of hit me and she was saying, "I'm trying to figure out the most rational way to deal (with this) but the answer is to just not think about it till it happens."
My god, when did we get so reasonable? I don't think with most people I could identify that well with what she was saying or what I was seeing had happened to her (through constant striving on her part for betterment). Its nice to see accomplishments in maturity of thought in like-minded people. I feel its too lofty to say that we are like-minded but we have a special type of understanding in which our friendship follows little to no of the standard friendship guidelines.
It sounds so much more special and mysterious when I talk vaguely of what's going on in my life.
Chloe and I have these special moments where we talk and everything we say is just understood and there is reciprocation and it makes us, well at least me, for a little while, not feel so alone. Not that I feel constantly alone, it just fills a spot that has a vague feeling of emptiness otherwise. But Chloe gets annoyed with me and I can't deal with judgmental people. And then we lose contact for a while.
And then we reconnect.
I have to wonder why she gets so annoyed with me, but if I were to know, really know, it'd probably hurt a little and I'd think about it and then bad things would happen. So I just don't think about it.
Except for now.
and sometimes.

:]