I love you all.

I have been in my house since the letting out of school, which was around 11:15 and I've been growing more and more impatient for something to happen. Most of the time I'm not like this, I normally don't like being on my own, but today it's driving me wild. I sent Jordan two texts and actually called him which I don't usually do. Its kind of become a weekly thing that he and Evan come over and sleep over at least once a week. When I get a routine I like to stick to it and the disruption is bothering me. I also called Katie, Automm, Amanda and Meg. I don't call people. (See the oddity yet?) I like people to come to me, its all very self absorbed. I don't like seeming needy or imposing on people. Plus when people ask me to do something it reassures me I'm still on their good terms, which I'm normally very sensitive about, I don't like imposing on people and due to past experiences I almost always feel like I'm imposing on people. Maybe its time to grow out of that. 

Well anyway Katie and Meg are coming over at eight because the ability to get anywhere is limitied; Meg's the only one that can drive and she's had to make dinner for her family tonight. 

I just have been feeling like something is supposed to happen amazing tonight and the fact that it hasn't is driving me insane. 

Insane I tell you.

Loco. 

So here I sit typing out my frustration and waiting. 

You know I really love my friends. They all are so different and interesting people. I never want to lose any of them, ever. I hope they know that. I've been trying to show that to them lately, but I'm not so good at showing attachment to things. Not good at expressing how deeply I care about anything. I wish the best for them and I hope luck shines upon them and they never ever feel unloved or unhappy. And that they always will be able to maintain themselves.  

Katie is like the emotion craze wise old lady stuck in a teenagers body. I love her dearly. 

Jen(who is currently up at Kim's) is crazy. I have no idea why we click but I would never give up our odd little isms if it meant all the gold in the world. 

Amanda is the wacky mommy of any group. She's so strong. I really envy her for that. And she never hesitates to speak her opinion. I admire that, no matter how angry she may be at any moment. 

Barathi. Bee. enough said. I'm really mad at myself for ever letting us drift apart. She's a wonderful little asian. 

Meg. the responsible driver stable loving lady. What would we ever do without her?

Joe. The psychologist who would never deny any one in need. He's such a quirky fellow. 

Alex. I don't know him half as well as I wish I did. 

Automm. Is one of the coolest people I have ever met in my entire life. She is one of the easiest people to talk and easily one of the most loving people I have ever come across. 

All of them are so odd and quirky and individual. Like little rays of sunshine in an other wise cold little winterworld. 

Well thats one group. 

I'm not going to express how I feel about anyone else, because I'm sure they'd find it odd that I was discussing them on a public site. I still care about them dearly. 

And there there are the people I want to get to know better. I'm so bad at reaching out. I really want to change that. 

I'm afriad I didn't give any one the justice they deserve. 

Well I hope I didn't scare anyone in my displaying of emotion. 

Love you all. 

I think I shall try to better express how amazing you all are once I have gotten in a more intelligble moods.